Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
