I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize