u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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