birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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