Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
