So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You can't just leave with hair like that
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
