The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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