I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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