very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
