he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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