kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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