I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
