we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
