Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
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