i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize