Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize