Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
