Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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