I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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