Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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