3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
