So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
