I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
