Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
me + whiskey = a bad person
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
