I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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