You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize