I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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