Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
