I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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