I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
that's an acceptable place to lick
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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