If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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