Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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