You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
