i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
