you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
