Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize