omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
