i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
