she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
