Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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