C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
