No awkward lesbian experiences without me
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
two words: eviction party
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
