She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
