the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
