Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
