I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
