True but thats because hes a fetus.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
it hurts more in the daytime
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
