I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
