I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
