yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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