He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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