my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
