This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We talked him into tasing himself.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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