woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
