My hair reeks of homosexuality.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
