none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
