I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
