im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
