why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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