That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize