Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
