theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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