According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
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