I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
